Mom’s struggling today. She’s sweet. Very confused. Doesn’t know why she is here. At noon she went to lie down in her room and 30 minutes later came out and said,” I don’t know why I’m here. I am very confused.” I recapped everything we’ve done over the year last 6 months and she understands that but of course she immediately forgets we have a doctor’s appointment today to get a prescription refilled. She’s just very low and sad. She’s not upset that she has dementia. We talked about that. She doesn’t think that’s a big deal. Which is fine. I only bring up she has dementia if I think she’s in a space where she can accept it. Many times if I bring it up she’s like , “I don’t have a problem.” I drop it right away but today we discussed it.
We went and she met her new doctor, who is very nice. And then we met Dale and had dinner at The Derby. That was all very good I was in the kitchen and Dale left for a 911 call, he is a first responder, and I heard mom saying, ” Karen, Karen, where are you Karen !” I told her I was right here. And then she sat down in her chair and just couldn’t get a grip on what happened today where she was what she did. She asked me what had happened to her brother. I told her he had passed away. She asked how long ago I said about 6 years ago.
She said she knew she was in the best place and she didn’t want to go home but she was struggling tonight. We had tea and at 8:30 went in her room and got her in her night clothes and she went to bed.
It was way too much stimulation this afternoon with the doctor and dinner. I need to watch that. Got her Prozac today, I’m thinking a few days without it may have made her sad.
I am obviously stressed out. And I don’t think it’s her it’s just having such a role reversal over an extended period of time. I put water on the stove to make the tea and I totally forgot about it. I can’t seem to hold a thought in my head. Everything goes in and goes out like a sieve. I get up in the mornings and I do some prayers and I do meditation. I do well for a little while and then about 3:00 I start getting tired as well. I’m so grateful for the help that I do get from Dale and from the next store Clubhouse on Wednesdays. Those help. I just can’t add to my plate. When I am asked to change my plans and they involve my mom, I have to remember she comes first.