The last week has been pretty uneventful we’ve been busy though. Wednesday mom went for her first day by herself to the Next Door program which is facilitated by the Council on Aging. What a great program! I tell you, if you have a parent or have an older friend, Rhe Council on Aging is a wealth of information. They have an adult day care and mom went for her first day on Wednesday. She made it through the whole day came home exhausted. She was in bed by 7:00. Could not figure out why she was so tired! After picking her up my husband was a little worried she’d ask a lot of questions about why she was there. However once they turned right and we’re driving home she started talking about the weather and traffic. So I will call that a win!
Ben, her husband, is still in the hospital. He rarely calls which causes her a lot of stress. It is unfortunate even though I have asked him to call her everyday, he chooses not to. He actually turns his phone off so when she tries to call him she cannot connect. So I deal with that throughout the day. I’ve decided to write down on a piece of paper, “Ben has asked that I not call him. He will call me if he wants to talk.” Didn’t help. I also wrote down the update on him. I wrote, “Ben is doing really well. He will be moved to a medical rehab facility as soon as one is found.” She reads the paper and then tries to call him!
I did get her to go outside for a little while. She raked some leaves This is her current favorite activity. Dale and I take some leaves from the pile she’s already raked and put them back out in the driveway for her. So she is always excited to see leaves in the driveway. Today, I tried to get her to take a nap. No go. However she has a new passion for adult coloring books! And every day she colors one or two pictures in one of them. I turn on Moving Art which I located on YouTube. It is a great avenue for some down time. We choose to watch the videos on Wyoming, Utah, or Arizona. It’s really lovely landscape and the music is very relaxing. No matter what time of day if we are watching moving art, mom always asks me, “Can you get this where you are? Can you get this at your house?” I just answer, “Yes I can.”
Oh! Last night which was a Thursday, I went out for about an hour and a half and I came home, planning to get on a Zoom meeting I wanted to attend at 9:15. I got home about 8:20.
Now what I’m going to write about now is entirely my fault! I came in mom and Dale were watching tv. Dale got up and went and walked the dog as he usually does. I asked Mom if she would like to get her night clothes on, which I always do around 8:00 or 8:30. She said, “No, I will wait till I go to bed.” I said, “okay I’m going to go get ready for bed.” I went and got on my night clothes came out, asked her if she would like to go brush her teeth and wash her face, and very curtly told me, ” No I am fine. “As I came walking out of the bedroom she hollered out to me ,”You DO know you are sleeping with me tonight right?” And I said, “what do you mean mom? And she said, ” because THEY are sleeping in there. “So I sat down and talked with her. I told her that I lived here, that I was married to Dale and he was my husband. And I asked if she knew who I was. She didn’t so I told her who I was I said, “I’m Shelley, your daughter and I live here with Dale, and our dog Buddy.” So she then was upset she was so confused and I told her it was okay and she says, ” I just don’t know why I can’t wrap my head around the fact you live here.” So as usual, whenever I’m gone for an hour, hour and a half and come back she does not recognize me or that I’m married to Dale. She also cannot put together that I live in the house. The reason this was my fault was, I rushed her. She said, “Is someone else is in the house someone else is in the house?” and I said no that was just me running around. I tried to log on to a meeting at 9:15 and she started hollering for me and wanted to go over everything about Ben, how many people are in the house, where am I going to sleep, who’s walking the dog.
I really must learn when I approach her I need to always do it in a calm even pace. Never am I to rush around or speak quickly. It really throws she for a loop.